The term “job” has a negative connotation for me. When I think about someone asking me to do a job, or giving me job, I automatically assume it is going to be something that requires unrequited effort. Thinking about work, feels exhausting. Our society has placed so much strain on the importance of work and having a job, that I believe we have forgotten what the original purpose of work is. Work or “your career”, should be involve you doing something that you are skilled at, that you can be an integral part of. Before the “American Dream” and the stock market, people used to have apprenticeships. They would choose the trade they admired most and would learn from a master the skills to perform tasks to benefit the community. Our world has changed, working with our hands has been degraded, and getting ahead is the key to success. That isn’t to say that we all get to choose what we do or how we do it, but more so that we need to fulfill a greater need on a more immediate level. Working and performing jobs has become about survival. In order to survive we need to make money, and in order to make money we need to have a job. This puts us all in positions we don’t want to be in, and this causes “venting”.
I believe that venting is one of the most important parts of life. The literally term to vent means too release, too relieve. Work is the number one stressor in everyday life, so there is always a need to vent about it. We need to vent about our relationships, our families, our jobs, and all our personal struggles. Just saying it out loud to someone else gives our problems and stresses meaning, someone is a witness to our pain, which makes it real and also easier to overcome. Verification is the most important part of moving one, whether it is over our boss nagging us about our job performance, or the loss of a loved one. We need to know that someone is listening, even if it is just for a second. Everyone has different temperaments, but everyone needs to feel that their problems, no matter how big or small, mean something to someone. Otherwise what we do has no meaning to anyone.
The difference between what is termed “harmless venting” and a genuine discontent with lies in each individual person. Venting is healthy, but being unhappy with your work is normal. Unfortunately for our society, most people would say that they are unhappy with their jobs. But they find happiness in their families, or their friends, which makes the work worth it. They key to overcoming this discontent with work is instead of wanting what you can’t have, learn to want what you do have. It is not an easy thing to be content with what you have already accomplished, we as humans are always looking ahead. We keep reaching out in front of us for the prize only to find that once we got a hold of it, we wanted the bigger prize. Finding things to be thankful for and grateful for around us, is a learned skill. We all have individual talents and creativities, finding them and using them is the key to a fulfilled work experience.
I am always trying to remain positive and happy with what I am doing. I vent about everything. It is the only way I feel sane at the end of the day. My co-worker and I get a drink after work a few times a week and just download to each other about work, relationships, family, and everything else on our minds. Like I said before, verification is so important to us. Children need verification about everything they do in order for them to feel like someone cares about their accomplishments. As adults, we are not that much different, only our problems are on a more mature level. In order to make work a happy and engaging environment I try to remember that what I have is a whole lot better that wanting something I don’t. Working towards goals and accomplishing milestones is important during a lifespan, but getting there is a process. The future depends on the present, so in order to make the best of the future we need to make the best of the present.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Taking the Defensive...
Fromm believes in the objective. The idea that love is more than one emotion, but that in fact it is a lifestyle. This idea is not easy to grasp right away for a number of reasons, but the main reason I believe it is so hard to connect with is because we have a hard time multitasking our own emotions on a daily basis. Being objective in life is sort of like being the referee in a never ending game that keeps changing it's rules. With the world in constant motion, it is only natural for us to want to grab on to any constancy we can and stick with it. However, this can be dangerous because then we keep ourselves rooted firmly to our ideals while the world rotates further into the future.
I am a painting major. As an artist I can truthfully say that we have a hard time convincing some people that what we do and strive for has relevance to the community as a whole. Art can take many different forms and practices, and I chose one of the most classical forms of expression. I love to paint, and my style has changed over the years as I learn and grow as a person. My work has gone from realism to abstract expressionism and everything in between. I studied abroad in Italy last year where I attended an Italian academy for art, and my whole outlook was changed again. When I returned home with some rather different styles of work that I had ever done before, some people were confused. My mother had a friend visiting who was admiring some of my earlier portraiture pieces versus my abstract expression series with a very confused demeanor. She could not "grasp" the concept of the latter. She wanted me to be able to stand there and tell her exactly what to think about my work, which is something I refuse to do. I firmly believe that art (paintings specifically) is not something you need to understand or dissect, but rather something to consider and be able to relate to. I have no problem with people not liking my work because the difference in opinion is what makes art unique. When I expressed this to my mothers friend, she took my explanation as meaning that my work had no meaning and she failed to see any relevance in what I had produced. She wanted me to tell her a story about the colors, composition, and movement of the piece. I wanted her to be able to tell me what she felt when she looked at it whether they were positive feelings or negative feelings. The conversation became heated, I was getting upset because she started to truly insult my choice of career path and she was getting upset because I could not provide her with what she needed to understand my work.
Needless to say, we left the debate unfinished. I learned a valuable lesson from this experience with her though, I had failed as an advocate for my work. I was the only one playing on my team, when I should have been trying to recruit. It should have been my job to help her see things my way by trying to see things her way. I never even considered her confusion, I just tried to shove my reasoning down her throat. It was not a mystery to me later why she couldn't understand my work, she couldn't understand where I was coming from because I was not explaining it to her. This does not mean that my ideals have to change, it just means that making my point needs to go hand in hand with where the other person is coming from. I am not saying that this woman would have loved my work if she was able to understand what I was trying to get her to do on her own, but it does mean she would have had the chance.
Fromm says that objectivity is the most important part of love. I believe that this is true. It is the big picture and the small picture at the same time. Being able to be open minded is the hardest part of any relationship, but it is what is needed to make it work.
I am a painting major. As an artist I can truthfully say that we have a hard time convincing some people that what we do and strive for has relevance to the community as a whole. Art can take many different forms and practices, and I chose one of the most classical forms of expression. I love to paint, and my style has changed over the years as I learn and grow as a person. My work has gone from realism to abstract expressionism and everything in between. I studied abroad in Italy last year where I attended an Italian academy for art, and my whole outlook was changed again. When I returned home with some rather different styles of work that I had ever done before, some people were confused. My mother had a friend visiting who was admiring some of my earlier portraiture pieces versus my abstract expression series with a very confused demeanor. She could not "grasp" the concept of the latter. She wanted me to be able to stand there and tell her exactly what to think about my work, which is something I refuse to do. I firmly believe that art (paintings specifically) is not something you need to understand or dissect, but rather something to consider and be able to relate to. I have no problem with people not liking my work because the difference in opinion is what makes art unique. When I expressed this to my mothers friend, she took my explanation as meaning that my work had no meaning and she failed to see any relevance in what I had produced. She wanted me to tell her a story about the colors, composition, and movement of the piece. I wanted her to be able to tell me what she felt when she looked at it whether they were positive feelings or negative feelings. The conversation became heated, I was getting upset because she started to truly insult my choice of career path and she was getting upset because I could not provide her with what she needed to understand my work.
Needless to say, we left the debate unfinished. I learned a valuable lesson from this experience with her though, I had failed as an advocate for my work. I was the only one playing on my team, when I should have been trying to recruit. It should have been my job to help her see things my way by trying to see things her way. I never even considered her confusion, I just tried to shove my reasoning down her throat. It was not a mystery to me later why she couldn't understand my work, she couldn't understand where I was coming from because I was not explaining it to her. This does not mean that my ideals have to change, it just means that making my point needs to go hand in hand with where the other person is coming from. I am not saying that this woman would have loved my work if she was able to understand what I was trying to get her to do on her own, but it does mean she would have had the chance.
Fromm says that objectivity is the most important part of love. I believe that this is true. It is the big picture and the small picture at the same time. Being able to be open minded is the hardest part of any relationship, but it is what is needed to make it work.
Friday, October 8, 2010
Look at that Sky, life's begun...
Ever since I was I very young I have had a weird obsession with David Bowie. I have always loved Glam Rock, and he pretty much invented the whole movement. I have every album he has ever put out (vinyl and CD), and whenever I don't know what to listen to I just put him on. There is something about his lyrics and music that I can really connect too. I have a soft spot for preformance art as well, and he is such a wonderful performer.
My favorite song would then appropriately be a Bowie classic, Golden years. This song has been on every mixed CD I made in middle school and high school, and is constantly being added to playlists on my ipod even today. I never change it when it comes up in a shuffle, and when I hear it in public places I feel immediately happy and surprised, as though someone has just given me a gift. I understood the meaning of this particular song when I was thirteen, I knew I was alone however because no one else in my eight grade class would consider voting for it to win the graduation song that year. The song itself is about taking chances and living life to the fullest that you can. It is about opportunities around the corner and never being afraid to takes chances. What is the point of being afraid of life when life is the best thing there it? My favorite line in the song is. "Look at that sky, life's begun, nights are warm and the days are young". This sums up the meaning of the song to me. The horizon is the perfect metaphor for life and opportunity, and it almost represents each day as a new chance to make something new and beautiful. Since night is supposed to be a dark and cold time, Bowie is calling them warm and the days are young, not long.
Alan Watts describes life as this game of success, something we cannot win. We can try and do everything that is expected of us but still go to sleep unsatisfied and feeling tricked, as though everything we have worked for is false. The video we watched in class actually left me feeling a little depressed. As though what is expected of me from my teachers/parents/peers/myself... is just a joke. I know that it is not, but the way Watts represented it made me feel like an insignificant pawn in the dominated game of chess powered by things outside of my control. The reason I love Golden Years so much is because it gives me the opposite reactions to life. The lyrics tell me that I am supposed to take the opportunities handed to me with confidence and hope. What is expected of me out of life is what makes me happy, and as long as I am happy, then I am doing things right. Another one of my favorite lines is "In walked luck and you looked in time" because it suggests this idea of chance. I don't like to believe that my life is planned out for me, and everything has a purpose and a meaning. I choose to believe that a big part of happiness and success lies in chance, and what you do with that chance. One decision could change your life for the good or the bad, but it is still your choice to make.
Music is one of the best ways in which we can express ourselves. Whether it is listening to it, making it, copying it, analyzing it, or simply hearing it in the background, music makes us identify with something. Everyone will identify with something different, which is what makes music so great. It makes life exciting and new when we can relate to something on such a powerful level. In great words sung by Bowie "Don't let me hear life is taking you nowhere.."
My favorite song would then appropriately be a Bowie classic, Golden years. This song has been on every mixed CD I made in middle school and high school, and is constantly being added to playlists on my ipod even today. I never change it when it comes up in a shuffle, and when I hear it in public places I feel immediately happy and surprised, as though someone has just given me a gift. I understood the meaning of this particular song when I was thirteen, I knew I was alone however because no one else in my eight grade class would consider voting for it to win the graduation song that year. The song itself is about taking chances and living life to the fullest that you can. It is about opportunities around the corner and never being afraid to takes chances. What is the point of being afraid of life when life is the best thing there it? My favorite line in the song is. "Look at that sky, life's begun, nights are warm and the days are young". This sums up the meaning of the song to me. The horizon is the perfect metaphor for life and opportunity, and it almost represents each day as a new chance to make something new and beautiful. Since night is supposed to be a dark and cold time, Bowie is calling them warm and the days are young, not long.
Alan Watts describes life as this game of success, something we cannot win. We can try and do everything that is expected of us but still go to sleep unsatisfied and feeling tricked, as though everything we have worked for is false. The video we watched in class actually left me feeling a little depressed. As though what is expected of me from my teachers/parents/peers/myself... is just a joke. I know that it is not, but the way Watts represented it made me feel like an insignificant pawn in the dominated game of chess powered by things outside of my control. The reason I love Golden Years so much is because it gives me the opposite reactions to life. The lyrics tell me that I am supposed to take the opportunities handed to me with confidence and hope. What is expected of me out of life is what makes me happy, and as long as I am happy, then I am doing things right. Another one of my favorite lines is "In walked luck and you looked in time" because it suggests this idea of chance. I don't like to believe that my life is planned out for me, and everything has a purpose and a meaning. I choose to believe that a big part of happiness and success lies in chance, and what you do with that chance. One decision could change your life for the good or the bad, but it is still your choice to make.
Music is one of the best ways in which we can express ourselves. Whether it is listening to it, making it, copying it, analyzing it, or simply hearing it in the background, music makes us identify with something. Everyone will identify with something different, which is what makes music so great. It makes life exciting and new when we can relate to something on such a powerful level. In great words sung by Bowie "Don't let me hear life is taking you nowhere.."
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Organ Donor
So as my title of this blog suggests, my favorite track on the record was "Organ Donor". I have a soft spot for the piano and the organ, as I play both. I grew up playing the piano, I played for 13 years, and I played only classical music. My teacher was a very gifted old woman who only let me play from her ancient sheets of Chopin, Beethoven, and Burgmuller. By the time I was 18, I had had enough classical music. I quite lessons and competing in the Certificate of Merit, simply so I could just play what I wanted to play. I don't regret this decision, but I don't regret my training as a classical artist as well. The track "Organ Donor" has some elements and timing of some of my favorite classical pieces, while using new and modern tech-no trends. The sound of the organ is very spooky and at the same time has a very old and ancient sound (primarily because it was the main instrument used for catholic churches).
I think that the entire album has a very unique and different sound to it. I love when artists mix their tracks, without making them repetitive and boring. I really enjoyed listening to his style. He reminds me of another artist that also does something similar, but not quite as broad. His name is GirlTalk. He is another DJ who mixes different types of music together to make new tracks (old hits with new ones/ classical with hip hop/ etc). I am posting a link to some of his music so anybody can hear him who never has, he is very fun to listen to. I also think it is interesting that DJ Shadow calls himself.. DJ Shadow. Considering we are really diving in Plato and the Cave... Coincidence?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L6TuMhYg89E
this is a link to my favorite Girl Talk song...
I think that the entire album has a very unique and different sound to it. I love when artists mix their tracks, without making them repetitive and boring. I really enjoyed listening to his style. He reminds me of another artist that also does something similar, but not quite as broad. His name is GirlTalk. He is another DJ who mixes different types of music together to make new tracks (old hits with new ones/ classical with hip hop/ etc). I am posting a link to some of his music so anybody can hear him who never has, he is very fun to listen to. I also think it is interesting that DJ Shadow calls himself.. DJ Shadow. Considering we are really diving in Plato and the Cave... Coincidence?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L6TuMhYg89E
this is a link to my favorite Girl Talk song...
The Breakfast Club.. and a genius..
So, I posted this blog awhile ago on my other site.. so I decided to re-post it here since my movie is "The Breakfast Club". It seriously is one of the greatest movies of all time...
This is a tribute to John Hughes. Whether you know it or not, you have been influenced by his magic. We all grew up watching his movies, and quoting his witty banter. My personal favorite movie of ALL TIME is The Breakfast Club and I could quote it beginning to end. John wrote and directed most of the cult classics we know and love including: Sixteen Candles, Ferris Buellers Day Off, Weird Science, Home Alone, Uncle Buck, The "Vacation" movies, Pretty in Pink, The Great Outdoors, and Planes, Trains, and Automobiles. For some weird reason, Mr. Hughes was able to capture all the important aspects of high school life. I know for a fact that high school never changes. The same cliques exist , and the same heartbreaks happen, and the "breakfast club" has been retold through the years with a different spin. Everyone knows that if they had a "duck man" in their lives the world would be a much happier place, and if Jake Ryan really did pull up in a hot rod wanting "you" you would melt. Unfortunately we all are aware that high school was a pretty shitty place, and watching movies like this only made you believe high school was something else. However, watching Ferris sing "Danke Schoen" on a float in Chicago on a Friday night was a staple in my young life. Watching these scenes now only brings back the memories of high school, and how young we were. So thank you John Hughes for making the 80's fabulous, and making our expectations of high school so high. RIP John.
"Not that I condone fascism, or any 'ism' for that matter. Ism's in my opinion are not good. A person should not believe in an ism, he should believe in himself. I quote John Lennon: 'I don't believe in Beatles, I just believe in me.' Good point there. After all, he was the walrus. I could be the walrus, I'd still have to bum rides off of people. "- Ferris Bueller
"Dear Mr. Vernon, We accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong, but we think you're crazy to make us write an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us: in the simplest terms and the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain ... and an athlete ... and a basket case ... a princess ... and a criminal. Does that answer your question? Sincerely yours, the Breakfast Club."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mNGIg8f-0Wc&feature=related
Monday, September 13, 2010
The Catalyst for Change
We all know that it takes a long time to be able to change. It also depends on the kind of change we want to make. The more we realize about ourselves, the more we accept the reality of our own character. Phil is a person we never had the opportunity to really realize who he was or what he wanted out of his life. He had an idea of his life that was not the truth, but in fact a huge lie about who he really was. When Phil gets stuck in the ellipsis of groundhog day, he goes through many phases of discovering his personal truth. Without this phenomenon of the repetition though, he never would have been able to see himself as he truly was.
The groundhogs day was a catalyst for change. He resented it, hated it, and then eventually accepted it, and that was when everything began to change for him. This is true for many things in our own lives that we might not realize are a catalyst for change. When someone tells you to be open to the world and experience things that are new and different, sometimes we scoff or don't pay attention because we are afraid of change. The things we resent and don't understand are often the things that makes us who we are. The groundhog day is like "The Cave" in so many ways, but mostly it represents the idea that we are all learning how to be the best person we can be. Sometimes this can take a lifetime, and it might be a lifetime we hate, but in the end we are left with something true. Something that we can be proud to know we found for ourselves, and something that no one can take from you.
The groundhogs day was a catalyst for change. He resented it, hated it, and then eventually accepted it, and that was when everything began to change for him. This is true for many things in our own lives that we might not realize are a catalyst for change. When someone tells you to be open to the world and experience things that are new and different, sometimes we scoff or don't pay attention because we are afraid of change. The things we resent and don't understand are often the things that makes us who we are. The groundhog day is like "The Cave" in so many ways, but mostly it represents the idea that we are all learning how to be the best person we can be. Sometimes this can take a lifetime, and it might be a lifetime we hate, but in the end we are left with something true. Something that we can be proud to know we found for ourselves, and something that no one can take from you.
Friday, September 3, 2010
Fear of the Light
The analogy of Plato's Cave is a very good example of life in general. Since we are always looking for "the truth", it can apply to almost anything we do or struggle with. However, sometimes the truth can be a scary thing, and dealing with it is not as easy as walking into the bright light and seeing the error of your ways. It look me almost 14 years to realize this.
When I was seven I was diagnosed with Type 1 Insulin Dependent Diabetes. This is a completely different disease than type 2, which a lot of grandparents and older people have. I do not and have not ever taken pills for my diabetes. Type 2's have used so much insulin in their body that the pancreas becomes immune to the insulin, and therefore taking the pill will help produce the enzyme that recognizes and reacts to the already produced insulin. My pancreas, and all other type 1's, do not make insulin at all. The scientific world does not know why this happens. There is a trigger, but they don't know what it is yet.
In order to maintain my life and survive. I had to give myself shots at least 5 times a day, and check my blood sugar regularly, monitor everything I ate so I could give the appropriate amount of insulin, monitor my exercise regime so I didn't go low and get sick, and carry around a med kit with me everywhere I went. At the age of seven, this was not my idea of having fun. I had to learn how to take care of myself at a much earlier age, which is something some adults can't even do. My parents were great, and they tried to help as best they could, but you can't explain a disease to someone unless they know what it feels like, and they didn't. I went through a lot of struggles at a young age, but pretty soon my diabetes became a part of me and everything I did. It was like remembering to wash your hands after going to the bathroom, simply instinct.
The older I became, the easier it was to not care about myself. Diabetes was pushed to the back of mind, when it should have been on the front. I would go days without checking my blood sugar, and I felt awful all the time. I was tired of having to deal with this "problem" that no one else I knew had to deal with. Because I was so negligent, I was hindered by my diabetes. I would get really sick on the basketball court and have to sit out at games and practices, I couldn't focus on my work in school because my vision was blurry from high blood sugar, my body was spilling ketones (sugar in the urine) because I wasn't taking my insulin and causing heavy doses of fatigue, I did not feel good.
My starting point (exiting the cave), came when I was 17. After 2 hours of basketball practice, no food, and my disregard from checking my blood sugar, I had a seizure. My parents and brother were gone for the night at a banquet and I was home all by myself. My parents came home and found me on the kitchen floor. Diabetics have this large syringe full of glucose called glucagon, which provides a signal to the liver to produce straight glucose sugar into the blood stream to get to the brain. They don't know how long I was unconscious, but the glucagon worked. I had to go the the hospital, they put me on a glucagon drip, and I had to stay there. It was awful.
After that day I realized that I was living in a cave, the shadows were the difficulties that diabetes contributed to my life. I didn't want to see the truth about my health. I was convinced that I would be fine, and nothing would happen to me. I wanted to be just like everyone else and just eat ice cream at the mall, or carry a tiny purse (not a backpack full of syringes and food), I didn't want to have to go into a stall in the bathroom and give myself a shot in the stomach so I could eat nachos with my friends. I was embarrassed and self conscious, just like every teenager. The puppeteers were the dreams of teenage normalcy, I would even consider myself a puppeteer. I was convincing myself I would be OK if I ignored my body and abused myself. But the truth was that in order to live a healthy life, and a long life, I had to start getting serious about taking care of myself. Diabetes comes with a lot of complications later on in life, in order to avoid them and even get that far, I had to start now.
I escaped the cave by a scary life experience, and stayed on the path to truth because of that fear. I am still afraid. This is why I say the truth can be scary, the fear drives me to take care of myself. Sometimes it is hard to live like that, but then I remember that right now I am healthy, and I am doing everything I can to stay that way. It was hard to do it alone, to constantly remember all the things I had to remember, but I learned how to deal with my frustrations and move on. I went to work at a summer camp for kids with diabetes and their families. I met some of the most amazing people there, people who knew what it felt like, could relate to me. It was the best thing I could have ever done. This really helped adjust my eyes to the light. I know that what we go through every day is challenging and unfair, but we do it because we want to be healthy and happy.
The moral of my story is convincing yourself that everything will be OK and turn out the way you expect it to will only work if you are courageous enough to look life in the face and stand up to it. It can be scary and hurtful, but seeing reality and taking responsibility for your own self is the only way to see the truth.
When I was seven I was diagnosed with Type 1 Insulin Dependent Diabetes. This is a completely different disease than type 2, which a lot of grandparents and older people have. I do not and have not ever taken pills for my diabetes. Type 2's have used so much insulin in their body that the pancreas becomes immune to the insulin, and therefore taking the pill will help produce the enzyme that recognizes and reacts to the already produced insulin. My pancreas, and all other type 1's, do not make insulin at all. The scientific world does not know why this happens. There is a trigger, but they don't know what it is yet.
In order to maintain my life and survive. I had to give myself shots at least 5 times a day, and check my blood sugar regularly, monitor everything I ate so I could give the appropriate amount of insulin, monitor my exercise regime so I didn't go low and get sick, and carry around a med kit with me everywhere I went. At the age of seven, this was not my idea of having fun. I had to learn how to take care of myself at a much earlier age, which is something some adults can't even do. My parents were great, and they tried to help as best they could, but you can't explain a disease to someone unless they know what it feels like, and they didn't. I went through a lot of struggles at a young age, but pretty soon my diabetes became a part of me and everything I did. It was like remembering to wash your hands after going to the bathroom, simply instinct.
The older I became, the easier it was to not care about myself. Diabetes was pushed to the back of mind, when it should have been on the front. I would go days without checking my blood sugar, and I felt awful all the time. I was tired of having to deal with this "problem" that no one else I knew had to deal with. Because I was so negligent, I was hindered by my diabetes. I would get really sick on the basketball court and have to sit out at games and practices, I couldn't focus on my work in school because my vision was blurry from high blood sugar, my body was spilling ketones (sugar in the urine) because I wasn't taking my insulin and causing heavy doses of fatigue, I did not feel good.
My starting point (exiting the cave), came when I was 17. After 2 hours of basketball practice, no food, and my disregard from checking my blood sugar, I had a seizure. My parents and brother were gone for the night at a banquet and I was home all by myself. My parents came home and found me on the kitchen floor. Diabetics have this large syringe full of glucose called glucagon, which provides a signal to the liver to produce straight glucose sugar into the blood stream to get to the brain. They don't know how long I was unconscious, but the glucagon worked. I had to go the the hospital, they put me on a glucagon drip, and I had to stay there. It was awful.
After that day I realized that I was living in a cave, the shadows were the difficulties that diabetes contributed to my life. I didn't want to see the truth about my health. I was convinced that I would be fine, and nothing would happen to me. I wanted to be just like everyone else and just eat ice cream at the mall, or carry a tiny purse (not a backpack full of syringes and food), I didn't want to have to go into a stall in the bathroom and give myself a shot in the stomach so I could eat nachos with my friends. I was embarrassed and self conscious, just like every teenager. The puppeteers were the dreams of teenage normalcy, I would even consider myself a puppeteer. I was convincing myself I would be OK if I ignored my body and abused myself. But the truth was that in order to live a healthy life, and a long life, I had to start getting serious about taking care of myself. Diabetes comes with a lot of complications later on in life, in order to avoid them and even get that far, I had to start now.
I escaped the cave by a scary life experience, and stayed on the path to truth because of that fear. I am still afraid. This is why I say the truth can be scary, the fear drives me to take care of myself. Sometimes it is hard to live like that, but then I remember that right now I am healthy, and I am doing everything I can to stay that way. It was hard to do it alone, to constantly remember all the things I had to remember, but I learned how to deal with my frustrations and move on. I went to work at a summer camp for kids with diabetes and their families. I met some of the most amazing people there, people who knew what it felt like, could relate to me. It was the best thing I could have ever done. This really helped adjust my eyes to the light. I know that what we go through every day is challenging and unfair, but we do it because we want to be healthy and happy.
The moral of my story is convincing yourself that everything will be OK and turn out the way you expect it to will only work if you are courageous enough to look life in the face and stand up to it. It can be scary and hurtful, but seeing reality and taking responsibility for your own self is the only way to see the truth.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)